Dear Bosses, there’s a reason we quit our jobs.

Back in the mid 90's when I was an advertising account guy, I got a job through my dad's advertising buddy with an old timer in downtown San Francisco named Eddie Bennett. I believe the license plate on his Mercedes said, "AD GUY." I know this is hard to believe, so you're just going to have to trust me here.

It was a two and a half person shop called Pier 50 Advertising.

The half-person was the 53 year old part-time bookkeeper tart who Eddie was having an affair with. Obviously, I was the other "one". He would get drunk everyday at lunch and verbally abuse me between visits to the office supply closet to steal a smooch with his skin-tight leather-pants-wearing mistress. One day, he yelled at me for 30 minutes as I drove us both to a client meeting. I still entertain visions of slamming on the breaks, reaching across to the passenger door and literally pushing him out of my car in the middle of China Basin in SF. God, I wish I'd done that. I really do.

Ah, the good 'ol days. 

When we look back on all the cruddy jobs we've had, no doubt there are some that could have been better if our bosses weren't complete hosebags. Wouldn't it be nice to get them in a room all at once and set them straight on a few things?

This delightful little 11 page manifesto (Download DearBosses.pdf) from Tiny Gigantic endeavors to do just that for the bosses of creative folk. Think agency Managing Directors, Client Directors, or anybody on the client side. If you're a creative and you have a boss like Eddie, you might want to send it to them anonymously. If you're a client or an agency mucky-muck, it's a must read.

Here's a snippet.

We Work For More Than Just Money:
Everyone’s got to pay the rent. But that’s not why we show up every day. We show up because  we like making things. Especially beautiful things.  And useful things. And things that matter.  We show up because creativity is its own reward.  But if we go home feeling like we gave much  more than we got, you can bet we’ll soon be looking for a better deal.

If you’re not used to giving effusive, heart-felt praise, here’s a little refresher:
Holy-fucking-doodle-dandy! You are goooood.  I dub thee: Sir Kickassalot.  Damn, you’ve got a hot body. Of work! Here, these are for you. (Hand employee your pants.) You must be channeling Jesus, because you just saved my ass. Or just say thanks and mean it. We promise, it’ll make lots of stuff better.

Show a little respect:
You wouldn’t go into a restaurant and tell the chef how to do his job. And if the food you order
is good, you wouldn’t take credit for it. So why does it feel like too many cooks in the kitchen? You hired us because we’re good at what we do, because we can do what you cannot. Accept the fact that there will be times when you’re out of your league. That’s ok. Just remember that you have faith in our abilities (right?), and let us do our job. Trust us—we’ll make you look good.
And when we do, don’t forget to send compliments to the chef.

Part of me wants to copy/paste the whole goddamn thing. But please don't fault me for that. It's my suffering that makes me want to do that.That, and the fact that it rocks.

Get some "My Boss Is An Asshole" Schwag right over here.

Bitch anonymously about your boss here.

And since we're on the topic of assholes, here's Karl Rove's wikipedia page. Just for the fuck of it.