Just when they think they have men wrapped up, pretty as you please, in a tight little pigeonhole, what do we do? We change, that’s what.
First, the metrosexual gave guys a license to be a fashion conscious. Women announced that they were turned on by a guy who knew how to put himself together. Men were sophisticated, dashing, and suddenly had something in common with women: men shopped and primped. For awhile, we all went to Banana Republic, bought Armani t-shirts, and even wore slacks that weren’t beige.
Unfortunately, metrosexuality turned into a license to be just a wee bit gay. Some guys started drinking strawberry beer, owning 8 or 9 different belts, and slathering on the hair gel like it was liquid cheddar on nacho chips.
And that just didn’t sit right with most other guys. Not one little bit.
What we see now is called the backlash. The uprising. The, the, ….Manaissance.
Real men are back and they’re smarter and manlier than before. Don’t worry, nobody’s going to grab ass in the lunchroom or anything. Guys aren’t going to bring back any of the disgusting habits that got them in the mess they were in during the 80’s and 90’s. Oh no. Times have changed and he knows that unrepentant beer-guzzling slobiture does not fly anymore.
But there are going to be some changes around here. We’ll still hug each other when appropriate, are good fathers, cook, and share feelings with our women. The new man isn’t about repression. He’s about masculinity. That’s right, (shocker!) the two are different.
He’s got balls now. Three dimensional balls (maybe four). He drinks whisky, has a big belt buckle, wears less form fitting pants, and has defined musculature. He’s emotionally strong, but not in the way that he was in the 50’s. It’s not about plastic stoicism, it’s about being someone that women and children can lean on. Except when the new man takes time away from family to be with his friends. Cuz ladies, we’re doing that now. Don’t worry, we won’t be Mr. Invisible around the house, but we are going to connected to our fellow man on a semi-regular basis.
The new man isn’t about moral shortcuts. He’s not a cheater, a liar, a whiner, or a slacker. He’s courageous, honorable, dignified, and is prepared to walk the hard road and make his own fortune in the world. He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty, but isn't about to get his morals dirty.
He’s back. And god damn it, I missed him.