Well, we've been through a lot together. You were there during the 70's when I was growing up. You were there for me in the late 80's when all I could afford was your Hormel Chili, Russet Potatoes, toilet paper, and beer. And you were there with me in the 90's when I not only shopped at your store, but also had you as a client in advertising. And though your marketing people were arrogant and rude, I stuck with you all the way until 2008. You had me convinced that nobody did it better.
I even liked pretending along with you that my Safeway Club Card really was saving me $40 on groceries when we both knew it was a fake program. We had some good times.
But something started happening in the mid 2000's. I'm not even sure what it was exactly. The best way to describe it is laziness. Your aisles were poorly stocked, your dry goods were dusty, and your peaches never seemed as juicy as I remember peaches being. Your produce looked manufactured and tasted bland. Your seafood section was stocked with old, sad looking aquadic lifeforms. Your people, with a few exceptions, were rude, unhelpful, and bored-looking. Your baggers were clearly dyslexic.
But that wasn't all. And this next part was the kicker for me. Most of your goods are from out of state. If I wanted to buy flour tortillas, for example, I'd have to give my money to a company in Texas. If I wanted to buy bread, again my money bolstered the Texas economy, not California's. Everything is from New York, Illinois, Minnessota, Ohio, and Kentucky. That's a long way for goods to travel. That's a lot of fuel. That's a lot of CO2. I'm getting short of breath just thinking about it.
I know that's how you've been doing things for many years. You have certain suppliers that service your whole chain. You can't localize very easily. Your big. You're slow. You're set in your ways. And I'm not going to ask you to change. But when I go to Trader Joes, well, it's a whole nother world. And that world is good. There's different things, true. And they don't have everything I need. But it's cheap, good quality, and much of their products are from around here. I can support the local economy and eat well.
You've been good to me all these years. And I will miss you, your gargantuan blocks of Lucerne Monterey Jack cheese and your huge wall of gift cards from every retail chain ever known. I'll even miss your filet mignon. But we're different now, you and me. I've moved on. And I think you should move on too.