A Bolivian citizen named Jose used a pretend juice-can-bomb to hijack an airplane from Cancun today as it landed in Mexico City after receiving a divine revelation. He said Wednesday's date — 9-9-09 — is the satanic number 666 turned upside down.
Well, I'll be damned...so it is. Let's throw the world into chaos, shall we? You know, I think I saw Jesus's head as a rust stain on my car's tailpipe this morning. Plus, tomorrow's date actually adds up to to 28, which is EXACTLY 10 more than 18, which is 666 added together. Twofer? Oh, that's right, you'll be busy with being locked up in prison. Forever.
"Christ is coming soon," Jose was quoted as saying, smirk on his face and bible in hand.
Well Jose, were I you, I'd be hoping like hell that Jesus is not coming. Because if he does show up and you're nearby, he's going to kick your stupid ass for misunderstanding the point of the entire f-ing religion.
Sidebar: People, could it be, that the problem this world is having is not about terrorism itself, but the source of terrorism - which, as everyone knows, is religion?
Why treat the symptom?
If you agree, send me a sign.