Okay buddy, what the hell are you doing here? Seriously. You should be working. Don't you have a Powerpoint to write? TPS reports to collate? A meeting to prepare for? What the hell, dude?
Yes, the Internet is a billion square miles of non-stopcarnival sideshows, so if you're having trouble focusing, the blog "Productivity 501" has some good advice to keep you on track. Among the suggestion....HEY! I'm talking to you!...among the suggestions (pay attention pal, I'm almost there)...are:
1) TWO BROWSERS: Two browsers: one for work, one for "exploration".
2) DISCONNECT: Disconnect your brain from the Internet and work from a notepad. Notebooks just have lines and blank spaces, lines and blank spaces. Not much to distract you. Just lines and spaces.
3) TIME AUDIT: Buy a timer, set a task, pick a time period for that task and finish it before the bell goes ding. Repeat.
4) AUTO LOGGING: There are apps that help you track what you're doing on the computer and for how long.
I would add that you should start your day with a list of to-do's specific to that day and then cover them off. You'll notice that dicking around on the Internet doesn't make your list. So don't do it. If you don't have enough on your list each day, then you're not thinking proactively enough.
The 99% Blog has a great tool called The Action Method that they sell (very inexpensive) that's designed specifically for creatives. I haven't used it, but it looks neat.
I saw today yet another article blaming five recent deaths on a storm roving over the midwest right now. This on the heels of the Indonesian ferry captain blaming storms for sinking his overcrowded ferry boat and a hurricane blamed for killing a swimmer.
I think we ought to stop pointing fingers at the weather and start taking a good hard look at the people who died.
This tendency to blame our misfortune on the weather itself must be some kind of hold-over from ancient times when we would chant incantations to the Rain God and treat weather as some deity's angry whim instead of the result of complex meteorological forces. Yet another example of the human tendency to blame anyone but ourselves for our foibles.
Banana Split blamed for diabetes.
Sun blamed for headache.
Cigarettes blamed for Cancer.
Sharp curve in road blamed for highway fatality.
Declining bee population blamed for lower orange crop which is blamed for economic downturn in central Valley which is blamed for unemployment which is blamed for lower consumer spending.
Hey chum, the fucking weak-ass bees are fucking up our fucking economy.
How about blaming our own lack of ability to adapt to our environment? How about blaming our own lack of common sense? Or blaming the human tendency to take chances and think we're invincible? How about blaming the genius who went swimming during a hurricane? Or the people who go tooling around in their big heavy station wagon with bald tires in a blinding snowstorm?
Katrina didn't destroy New Orleans. People did.
This planet and it's natural forces are not about us, never have been about us and will never be about us. This is what people must learn. You must adapt or you will die.
The storms are a-coming. Either get ready or get killed.
If you're just sitting around, like dozens of people today are, and you feel an urge to write a list of things that you plan on sharing with the world, a top ten list, say... or perhaps it's the Top 10 Most Annoying Characters on TV, or Top 10 remarkable engineers of all time or perhaps even Lindsay Lohan's top 10 favorite sexual positions while she's hopped up on crack and hanging out at some photographer's house, whatever, just STOP yourself, please, and consider a few other, let's say 10, activities that those of us out in the world would rather you partook in.
1) Start a boy band: It seems there's a niche currently. You'll need to assemble a group of good looking young boys who can dance and cover the incredibly large spectrum of personality types between rebel and brooding rebel. Then figure out what your hair styles are going to be. There...you're done.
2) Learn to etch glass with a rotary tool. Etched decorations never go out of style. Mainly because they're never in style to begin with. They exist above the whole style paradigm. Give one to your loved one. They'll be so touched.
3) Take Full Advantage of Your Former Employer's Outplacement Service. There are strong professionals in this field who will guide and instruct you on how to get another job in your field. If that doesn't work, consider a new career as an outplacement professional!
4) Resolve yourself to take better care of your tattoo. Cleaning it with antibacterial soap, applying Aquaphor ointment in thin
layers and using non-scented lotion can help your stupid fucking tattoo of Woody Woodpecker look its best.
5) Remove the blood stain from the drapes. Yes, it might add to the intrigue of your pad, but also clashes with the carpet. First thing to remember is that blood is protein and proteins require cold water. If the blood's been around awhile, you might want to use cold water with Oxyclean. That's what, er, I've heard anyway.
6) Learn how to read sheet music. Don't just play the music, feeeeeeelll the music. That's it...you'll be Stairwaying To Heaven in no time.
7) Chip in your time on a missing person's search and rescue. Clearly you have oodles of time, so don't be selfish. Check the local hospitals. Over 2,000 people go missing every single day. You could be one of them. Hey, seriously, are you one of them?
8) Go fuck with that army of ants that lives in the corner behind the wall. You've seen the scouts. You know what the're looking for. The time has come to draw out the herd and squash them. Bring home one of those free candy suckers from the laundry mat and put it out for them. Wait till the ant highway is like 5 lanes each way - then douse them with maple syrup and watch them drown in their own version of a happy meal. Oh, you're so sick.
9) Try to decide between bankruptsy or forclosure. You don't really need both. You could potentially file for bankruptsy and exempt your home from the asset list that debtors can access. In any case, you'll need some time to ponder this and that's time you won't be spending cluttering the world with your top 10 lists that really anyone could write.
10) Pray. Start praying a simple prayer... for example "God what is my purpose on
this earth". Get in a habit of waiting for his response before doing anything else.
More than just a joke on Glenn Beck, it's a spot-on commentary about what is wrong with the right's on-air presence and how they're skewering public debate and pandering to the intellectually incurious nitwits.
I am reading a post-Bush era tome called "Caligula for President" by Salon.com contributor Cindra Wilson. Some very sharp-witted political writing masquerading as a modern day speech (of sorts) by Caligula, an entirely amoral figure from Rome's imperial Julio-Claudian dynasty. If you're looking for a little catharsis, a little free flowing rant, I highly recommend it. Here's a little tasty nugget from the book:
As former Indiana basketball coach Bob Knight once said, " If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it."
Let the corporations have their way with you and your country for a while and, in the end, everything will normalize to how it was before they got there! Eventually, everything will be so trashed and pillaged, it will need to be regulated by the government again!
Regulations eventually seep back in as governors on the unchecked corruption and unaccountable greed that flourishes when the free market is left to nakedly pursue its own appetites with no grown-ups or babysitters in the house. It's sort of like letting go of the steering wheel and flooring it at the same time. It's really fun for a minute.
OK. Back to the rape at hand, everyone. We're still in Capitalism's long minute of fun. Sorta.
As Americans we are bathing in bullshit every single day. It's unavoidable. So, if we can't avoid it, we might as well come to understand it. This is a group exercise, so if you'd like to point something out to us, by all means, do.